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Dateline Las Vegas: 2014 CGH

11/21/2014

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  To all:

So this year the boys went to Las Vegas…oh yeah!...whooo!...”what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”…this will be wild!

Well, as the secret undercover reporter for the CGH, it’s my job to know not only “what happens” but to definitely not have it “stay in Vegas”.

Here’s my issue, “what happened in Vegas” ends up being a rhetorical question . Why? Cause NOTHING happened!

These losers are unbelievable.

It was so dull they wouldn’t have caught Ebola if we had held the tourney in Sierra Leone.(topical reference!)

The biggest excitement was on the tables. Watching the gambling guru, Tom Ferranti, work a crap table was like watching Geno work a two minute drill. . Give me $20 on a “HARD FIVE” (I swear he said it). Are you kidding me.

Or how about our fearless leader, the crap maven, repeatedly saying “don’t play the horn, it’s a fools bet” while everybody is banging it over and over. Who’s the fool?

And all of this before 10:30pm.

Hell, I had to hurry through my last few holes each day just so the group could make the early bird at Binions on Freemont. Jimmy wanted that $6.95 steak.

You want to know what sums up the Vegas experience for this group. They all wanted to go see ….wait for it…wait for it…Don Rickles! That’s right…Don Rickles!

Memo: He’s 92 years old!

To be honest it’s not this groups fault that things were so dull.

The trip would have been a lot more raunchy and edgy if some of you other pu***s had shown up.

Brian would have brought some new gardening stories…crazy.

Roman could have shared recaps of all 145 of his sons games in the past year…wild.

Blane would have…ugh…never mind.

So you want to know “what happened in Vegas”…show up!!!

Based on this year…next year, maybe the CGH will be at Century Village…Tommy can dominate at BINGO!

Scoop

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